I do hope that the current generation of adoptees, as well as any future adoptees do manage to somehow benefit from our generation speaking out about certain things and being honest…

There is something about knowing that Korean adoptees are acting on behalf of unwed mothers and adoptees, which gives me hope for the future children of Korea…..changes to not repeat the same mistakes.

Your honesty, no matter your position, is part of that movement. Too many times, it is assumed that it’s only “angry” adoptee who question their adoption and have conflicting feeling about adoption. Growing up, knowing your culture and family roots, it’s something most people take for granted, but as adoptees we are faced with the reality …that we may NEVER know. Adoptees dont have to be abused to feel pain about their adoption. There was a missing piece and some of us handle it differently than others.

If I could give advice to myself as a child, I would say…
“You are not alone. There are others with similar thoughts and struggles. You will not allow anything to defeat you. One day you will understand your strength, resilience and inner-beauty and know that you are ok”.

Occasionally, I have considered that I have the “best” of both worlds. But at the same time, I can’t ignore the yearning I have to find “myself” and learn more about Korea. No matter how much I ignore Korea, I still feel like I can’t quite relate to Australia. It’s sort of a numb feeling, or like an itch you can’t reach. I certainly don’t hate Australia, but I still always feel very out of place here, which is something I don’t really like.

That being said, though, neither have my parents ever tried to discourage me from learning more about Korea and such. Just because of the feelings I have toward Korea and my adoption, it doesn’t mean my parents did a bad job, or discouraged me in any way. Quite the contrary, really.

Thanks for sharing your very different opinion/experiences, though. I’ve appreciated it.^^

I’ve never been adverse to the idea of learning more about my Korean heritage, but to be quite honest, I get really annoyed with certain aspects of Korean culture that I see around campus. (We have tons of Koreans here.) For example, I tutored a Korean native in English, and he was always telling me about how he wanted to find a wife so he wouldn’t have to cook anymore. He also thinks it’s strange that in the US, girls run competitively, not just to be skinny. Now, I don’t want to fall into the trap of cultural relativism, but I can’t say that I am sad I didn’t grow up in a more patriarchal culture. I was also quite disheartened to learn that the two most popular plastic surgeries in Korea are creating a double lid and reducing calf size because I like my mono-lid AND my big-ass calves.

In general, I think I have the best of both situations—I’m not awkward in American culture, but I have the perks of being unique.

All this being said, my parents never tried to assimilate me and “stamp out” my Korean-ness. Rather, they have always encouraged any desires I’ve had to learn about my heritage. Perhaps that makes a big difference. Being Korean isn’t something taboo in my family, but I understand that it is for a lot of adoptees.

I have also never been against the idea of looking for my biological parents; it just seemed like too much work. Last year, I found the blog of a guy who had found his entire family, and he encouraged me to do it so I wouldn’t regret it later. It’s not really that emotional of a process (yet), though I imagine it will be if I am able to locate my birth mom.

Thanks for your opinion on “Adopted”. Maybe I’ll download it!

I thought “Adopted the Movie” was really good. I actually ended up buying it as a download. I don’t think you can hire it anywhere. Although it’s aimed toward adoptive parents, I felt I could relate to a lot of what got said, and it was good to know I wasn’t the only person out there who felt certain things. I think, though, you may have a different take on it, since your whole attitude and such are completely different to mine.

Also, did you like the “Adopted” movie? I wondering if I could rent it somewhere, but it seems like I might have to buy it.